If you read City of Heavenly Fire, you can probably still remember how you felt when Jonathan died. Angry, sad, disappointed, unfair he died before he got a chance to live. I felt it all. So did my brain. My mind started playing with the concept What If Jonathan Had Lived? That’s why I’ve decided to write this series of short scenes. They all take place after the ending of COHF (apart from the first one) and all include Jonathan Morgenstern. I do not own these characters and these events never happened, it’s all from my imagination.This scene takes place during Christmas.
“Rocking around the Christmas tree, have a happy holiday!” Clary and Simon were singing loudly along to Christmas songs while they were decorating the tree. When they found out that shadowhunters didn’t celebrate Christmas, they were both baffled and insisted they’d celebrate it this year. They seem to be the only ones who know what they’re doing, Jonathan thought, while he was sat on the couch next to Jace, Alec and Isabelle, who all looked kind of stunned. Magnus was there too, but he was helping Clary and Simon hanging the ‘glittery balls’ in the tree. “Last year, I gave you my heart, but the very next day you gave it awaaaaay!” Clary sang and Simon pretended to be playing air guitar. Jonathan had asked Clary when they went looking for a tree, why people decorated a tree for Christmas. “That’s a part of Christmas!” she had answered, which he had translated to: “I don’t really know either, but it’s Christmas and it looks great.” He had gone shopping for presents, which he appeared absolutely terrible at. After two days of roaming the city, he had ended up asking Jocelyn for help. Now he had a basket of neatly wrapped presents in the back of his closet.
Two weeks later after the gift shopping debacle it was Christmas Eve. Everyone was at the Institute, Jocelyn, Luke and even Maryse. Things were still awkward between Jonathan and Maryse. He had killed her youngest son when he was Sebastian and she hadn’t forgiven Sebastian, him, for that. Max. Isabelle and Alec never spoke about him, and if Jace or Clary brought it up they went silent. Max’s death was something that ate on Jonathan, knowing he could never do anything to make it right. Now, he was sitting on the couch after dinner. Clary, Jace, Simon, Alec, Magnus and Isabelle had gone outside for a snowball fight and the adults were still seated at the dinner table. He stood up and walked to the window, looking at his friends throwing snow at each other. Suddenly, someone came to stand next to him. He looked up and saw Isabelle. Her long, black hair wet from the snow and her cheeks flushed from the cold, but her eyes were sparkling. He didn’t know what to say to her, so he just looked out of the window again. “Max would’ve loved this.” Isabelle suddenly said and Jonathan’s heart skipped a beat. He turned with his back to the window. The silence was deafening before he said: “I’m sorry. I’m sorry I killed him. I can say it wasn’t my fault, but it was.” Isabelle held up her hand and when she turned her head to him he could see her eyes were glassy. “I miss my little brother every day, but you are not the reason he is dead, Jonathan. I know you know my mom thinks that, but I don’t. Neither does Alec. I have seen you struggling with this over the past couple weeks, and I thought you should know. You are not Sebastian. He is dead. I know it’s hard, but you’re going to have to let go of him in order to be you.” She tossed her hair over her shoulder and met his eyes. He nodded, overwhelmed by this. Isabelle never showed much emotion, and it meant a lot to him she had said this. “Thank you.” He croaked. “So, you coming outside to throw some snowballs or what?” she grinned and his lips tugged up in a smile. “Definitely.” he replied and followed her outside, surprising the others by teaming up with Isabelle in the fight and they threw snowballs and made snowmen until it was too dark to see.
“Let it snow, let it snow, let it snow!” Clary sang and Jace groaned and covered her mouth with his hand. “If you sing one more Christmas song, I’m using a silent rune on you.” Clary chuckled. “I’m sure you know other ways to silence me.” She wiggled her eyebrows. “Now you asked for it.” Jace grinned and he cupped her cheeks to kiss her. “Get a room!” Alec shouted and threw some wrapping paper at them. Clary pulled back, her cheeks flushed, but laughing. She met Jonathan’s eyes and smiled. It was Christmas morning and they were all sitting around the Christmas tree, presents in heaps next to them and wrapping paper everywhere. Magnus had even made a hat out of some glittery red paper and was leaning against Alec’s chest. Jonathan grinned at his sister and looked at his pile of presents. A new stele, books, chocolate. Clary had given him an iPod. “Only because I’m sick of it that you keep borrowing mine.” she had said with a wink when he had ripped off the wrapping paper. Jocelyn’s present was a necklace with the angelic rune. When he looked closer at it, he saw his name engraved. Jonathan Morgenstern. “Because you’re not Sebastian,” she had whispered in his ear. “And a true shadowhunter at heart.” It had touched him so much, he had hugged her in thanks. He now wore the necklace, the rune dangling on his chest, and looked around the room. Jace and Clary were whispering with each other, both smiling, and Jace stealing kisses from her. Simon had his arm wrapped around Isabelle, her head on his shoulder. Alec was playing with Magnus’ hair while they talked and when he looked at Jocelyn and Luke, his mother caught him staring and smiled. Something hit his head. A Christmas ball from the tree and he saw Jace falling on the floor, laughing. He threw it back and Jace caught it, still laughing. “Back from dreamland, Jonathan?” he teased and in that moment, Jonathan knew that he found his home.
Merry Christmas everyone!