Tick, tick, tock.
That’s all I have now.
A small room, a photograph, and time.
They want me to trust them and confess my sins.
They told me they wouldn’t judge me—they lied.
I thought we could convince the world that this wasn’t a crime.
We were wrong.
Time doesn’t stand still.
The clock keeps ticking, the world is unconvinced, and now…
Now he is gone.
Hiiiii everyone! *waves* I’m finally back, this review-hiatus gave me strenght to be fully focused on the first review I’ve done since before Christmas.
Okay, so the summary obviously doesn’t say much about the plot, and that’s good because one of the best things about the book is trying to guess what happened to the main character to put her where she is now.
We meet Addison Lancaster when she is in a therapy session with Doc, but she doesn’t talk much in it so we can’t imagine what actually happened to have him asking those questions, then with flashbacks we get on a rollercoaster through the past and the present that helps us find out the story behind Addy’s inclusion in the Pshychriatic Facility.
Meet Grayson/Mr. McKendrick, he is a 32 year old new teacher at Addison’s high school, he just got back from a trip through Europe. He didn’t want to get back from it because he doesn’t like living in the town or teaching. He likes the freedom of being able to travel and enjoy the world, but his dad is really sick and he comes back to take care of him. And well, he inmediatly feels attracted to Addison, even though she is his student. YES LADIES AND GENTLEMEN THIS IS A TEACHER/STUDENT ROMANCE (but not your typical one at all).
“This is right. Right here. Just you and me. Anywhere else and it wouldn’t even matter.”
“Yes, but we aren’t anywhere else, Addison. It is what it is.”
Although we first see Addison as this strong sassy character who is afraid of nobody and has settled her mind in getting the teacher, we soon realize that she is much more than that, she is broken, damaged, and Grayson is the only one who can fix her. Addy’s brother died a couple of years ago and she has always blamed herself for it, and what is worst her dad (an alcoholic abusive full of pain) and her mother (this socialité that only cares about how the world sees her and not about Addison) also blame her for it, so none of them pay attention to her or care to ask if she is alright. Addy has an obsession with counting and always being on time since his brother’s accident and can’t help but notice all the tick tock’s from the clocks everywhere she goes, the only one who can make that madness stop is Mr. McKendrick.
The ticking was back.
We were over.
Time was no longer standing still.
At first their love is complicated, Addison has set her mind on having him but he knows he can’t act on his attraction towards her because she is his student. But at the end “love is beyond good and evil” as Nietzsche says so they act on it, and it’s beautiful, well, at least until people find out.
“This, what we’re doing? It won’t end well, it can’t.” I touched his face, running my fingertips over his cheekbones. “It doesn’t have to end at all. I’d never hurt you.”
“I never knew that I’d risk everything, even my freedom, just to touch someone. Just to touch you.”
In the mean time, in the present time we can see Addy slowly working through her inner troubles and fears to be free of them with the help of her therapist. She starts by being quiet not wanting to give anything to anyone and slowly opens up and allows Doc to help her heal. The trouble is, we don’t know where Grayson is. In the present, we are shown some news on the tv where the journalist say that the police hasn’t been able to fing Mr. McKendrick yet, so where is he? And that is not the only mistery, how did his special pen end up in Doc’s hands?
“You needed the pen and the letter to heal. Just as Cupid revived Psyche with a kiss, he revived you with words. Every single word he wrote in that letter helped me to help you. He reached you, even though he wasn’t here.”
I feel the need to add after this quote that Doc is an amazing character, and if I ever need a therapist I wish I had one like him, who cares more about the health of a patient that what he legally has or can’t do.
“He saved you after all,” Doc spoke softly, finishing my thought.
I put my head on Doc’s shoulder and whisper the only words I can manage. “Thank you.”
Back in the past we see how after one teacher finds out about their relationship she (the teacher) gives Grayson a day to report himself. He and Addy decide to meet at night at the cemetery where her brother lays, but even though we see that he gets there when she goes to find him he isn’t anywhere to be found, but there is a note next to his brother’s grave, written by him, she reads it and that is the last we see from the past. I’m not gonna say how she gets to the psychriatic facility because I already said too much (lol).
“It’s okay. I understand.”
Pulling back slightly, he asked, “What’s okay? What do you understand?”
“That I’m your monster.”
We get back to the present when she is close to leaving the facility and when she finds a clue about Grayson’s possible whereabouts, *puts mistery music on*.
I ask one thing of you before I go. Please understand that you were never my monster.
You, Addison, will always be my Psyche.
One of the things I liked the most about the book was the double POV, so you could see the internal struggle of both parts, the girl who needs Grayson because he makes everything else fade and gives her the understanding she needs and the teacher that wants to do the right thing but can’t help how he feels about his student.
“I love you.”
She pressed her forehead to mine and replied so softly I almost missed it, “You shouldn’t.”
I’m not gonna say anything more about how the book comes to a close beacause it’s really fun to try and guess what happens, even though you don’t have many clues. If you like damage souls, broken lovestory and mistery I highly recommend this book to you. And I really hope you like it, tell me what you think.
There she is, staring at me—my salvation, and my new beginning.